Learning to Care. . . Promoting Kindness

Some time back a dear friend's sister died.  While the story of them would fill a book, it was a book found tucked in a shelf while clearing out the debris of one's life that became a gift. The name of the book is Learning to Care: Elementary Kindness in an Age of Indifference by Robert Wuthnow (1995).
If the "age of indifference" was written about in 1995...then today in 2013 becomes the "way of indifference".   Wuthnow writes "most people regard kindness as a virtue". He goes on to write " the lack of kindness is felt on a wide scale in our society...conflicts....violations... leading to abuse, neglect".  Our solution to many of these social ills has been volunteerism...both by individuals and groups.  The book describes how one goes about learning to care...through the act of volunteerism..community service or as a career, such as in healthcare.

Making a difference in others lives is a wonderful effect of being kind and helpful. Many describe a feeling of contentment and joy when helping others. 

Some readers may wonder as do I what has happened to caring and kindness. An epidemic of incivility and down right nastiness permeates many settings these days. One phenomenon noticed of late is the difficulty many groups have in recruiting and retaining those willing to volunteer their time and expertise.  The fallout has been the slow death of many activities that rely on volunteers...from Girl Scout leaders to professional organizations (nursing comes to mind).  In place of volunteers are now paid "directors" who do what typically was done by a group working together toward a shared goal.  We now pay folks to do what we used to volunteer to do.  Wuthnow describes caring for our elderly as an example.  Older adults used to be taken into the homes of children or relatives...now we pay others to take care of them.  While a simple example, being there are many factors to be considered in taking in either a child or an older adult who needs care, the example describes the trend seen in many volunteer organizations.  Consider the group who needs bookkeeping services, instead of someone in the group taking on the responsibility, an accountant is hired.  Or consider a group wanting to conduct a fundraiser, whereas canvasing for donations was typically a face to face by the group members, now a fundraising service is hired to conduct high tech fundraising. 
What is lost is the opportunity to feel good about making a difference in others lives by being kind and helpful.  

Here is an idea and a place to begin re-vitalizing the virtue of kindness. When standing in line at the grocery store or other store...look behind you.  Is someone right behind you holding just 1 or 2 items and your cart is full to overflowing?  Consider letting them step ahead.  
As you make this choice, reflect on first their surprise and then how you feel. Isn't that feeling much better than the annoyance you may have been feeling about standing in line, fussing about what you have to do yet today?  
Learning to care, promoting kindness can become contagious...and is a far better alternative to the indifference many of us experience and hand out.  
I highly recommend you get your hands on Withnow's book and re-energize your heart.